Monday, April 17, 2017

I Guess My Mom's Not So Crazy.

I used to think my mom was crazy. On family vacations she would always clean up before we'd leave a hotel room.

"I don't want them to know how messy we are," she'd say.

"But that's what you pay them for!" I'd reply in confusion.



On top of that I once, in jest, suggested we just hire a cleaning service to my wife. "No, because I'd have to clean before they show up." Even Jessica on Jep and Jessica: Growing the Dynasty had the same response.

I used to think that women were crazy for responses like that. Right up until I submitted my manuscript to a professional editor.

I found myself in a panic. What if my voice is too passive? What if my participles are dangling? Did I remember how I used my nominative case? I don't even know what a nominative case is! I'm going to look like such an idiot! What if The Writer's Assistant finishes the line edit and demands more money for how dumb I done wrote it! I guess my mom's not so crazy, unless I crossed the crazy line myself.

If my editor is reading this, that's why it took so long to finally commit to a full line edit.

Just as my panic attack was about to hit maximum pressure, the words I remember saying to my mom hit me. "But that's what you pay them for!" I've gone over the manuscript more times than I can count. I got it as perfect as I could mentally get it up to now. I liked the story process but the grammar process was like gouging my eyes with a child's dull plastic spork. There is someone out there that actually likes to look for passive voice, dangling participles, and nominative case.

So I did it. As I told her in the email: "I'm giving you the keys."

And guess what! It worked. She pointed out all the areas to clean. It wasn't nearly as painful as the developmental edit. . .

I wrote my posts about editing a little out of order. So on the next one I'll talk about a developmental edit, that I did first.

To Blood and Ink!


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